Thursday, March 6, 2014

Doing the right thing is sometimes really hard

I'm going to get quite personal here on the blog today, but my family has been going through a lot of changes and I'm in need of letting it all out. Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life? Someone who should be a major part of your life, but instead finds every way possible to hurt you and the ones you love? My family and I are dealing with this right now... and by family I mean my mom, my sister Erica and I. When I think back on my years growing up the people who I could always turn to were my grandparents (my mom's parents), my mom and my sisters. Now I'm not saying my dad didn't play a big role in my life, because he did, but when I was 15 he showed me that parents aren't perfect and sometimes they aren't good people. That was the first time he walked out on us. My parents reconciled but continued to have problems throughout the years. Last April my dad left my mom, via email, and they are currently going through a divorce. My dad has cheated on my mom for about 20 years and continues to have a string of women in multiple states. Yep, nice guy right there.

My mom is an incredible woman. She held it together for years and made sure us girls had the best childhood possible. While my dad did pay the bills and was around a decent amount of time, it was my mom who attended every one of our sporting events, really got to know all of our friends, was there for us no matter what and provided us with the important things that money couldn't buy. She kept a lot of things from us growing up, hoping that he would change. She wanted to help him have a continually good relationship with his kids and when she said her vows she really meant for better or worse. My dad has a different view on life. He needs material things and a woman boosting his ego to make him happy, not his family. When my parents split in April I wasn't thrilled with my dad, but we knew what he was and I figured he'd continue on being minimally involved in our lives. He hadn't been around much that year prior since he was living and working in a different state, so it was as if nothing would change for us girls. That was before he turned into an unstable crazy man.

I have one mother and one father, this is true, but I am not the type of person who sits quietly by while my family is being treated like crap. I'm not the type of person who allows someone to emotionally abuse the ones I love and get away with it. So just because I only have one father doesn't mean I am willing to look past the horrible things that have been going on. My dad, since leaving my mom, has spent his days sending cruel and incredibly hurtful texts, emails and voicemails to my mom, sister Erica and I. We have all stopped communicating with him, yet he continues to seek every opportunity possible to be nasty. Verbally abusing my sister and I, and both physically and verbally abusing my mom has led me to cut ties. I have no tolerance for someone treating the ones I love like this. Even if he hadn't done a single cruel thing to me, he has hurt my mom and sister so horribly that I will not have a relationship with him. I mean come on, the guy threw my mom across the kitchen and to the ground a couple of months ago. My Grandpa showed me how a man is supposed to treat his family... and my dad does the opposite. Nobody wants to lose a parent, but his actions have made my decision to remove him from my life easier. My mom and sisters have always had my best interest at heart and have always been there for me. So, while it is sad to lose a parent this way, I know I am a better person for sticking up for what is right instead of looking the other way.

My Mama with her girls

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3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through! Definitely sending prayers to you, your sister and mother! If there's anything I've learned in my short 22 years of life, its that family isn't always those who are blood-related. Hope things look up soon for your family! XOXO

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  2. I've never been in this situation before, but, I've definitely cut some family members out of my life. Enough gets to be enough. This person said to me: "But we're FAMILY!" Yeah... so? That doesn't mean you have an automatic pass to treat everyone like crap. To me, that person and I were RELATED... we weren't family anymore. Sad, but true. :/

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